Be Still and Know That He is God

Brittney: Twenty four hours ago I was on cloud nine rocking our sweet Darby Kate. She was looking at me with her big blue eyes and I was telling myself it won't be long and I will be sitting in the glider in her room that Jason and I worked so hard on in preparing for her arrival. That feeling changed within two hours and we were holding our breath and once again feeling helpless as she fought to survive. It is a hopeless, helpless feeling that I never wish on any parent. It is not explainable the thoughts that run through your mind when your baby is laying almost lifeless and you are just watching. I was wondering what the last lullaby would be that would remind me of her as she took her last breath. I didn't even touch her for fear of increasing lactate, or causing her blood pressure to drop more. It probably would not have but we wanted what was best for her chance to survive. At the same time, it's a sickening feeling to think your baby could die without the soothing and comforting touch from her mama or daddy. The longer that time went by without any improvement I began thinking about just getting out of this room if she did pass. I looked around and began realizing all the gifts and personal items that we had accumulated in this tiny space. I knew it would take a while just to remove everything. I wanted to prepare but also did not want to feel I was giving up. I left Jason sitting in the room and I went into the bathroom where all of our toiletries and clothes were. I began talking to God as I packed up everything or got it in an organized manner that it would be easy to remove. When I came out Jason checked on me making sure I was OK since I had been in the bathroom for so long. I didn't tell him I had gotten all of our stuff packed for I still had hope that she would continue living but at the same time wanted to prepare to get us out of this hospital as quick as possible if she didn't. Needless to say, last night Jason and I were both removing items that we needed from the bags I had packed up. We were getting ready for bed and knowing that Darby Kate had survived one more day that many did not think she would. Every situation that God puts you in is not done on your own time but His. Even though I was trying to prepare, God had a better means of preparing me. He reminded me yesterday as my favorite verse states to "Be Still and Know That HE is God". As I type this I am able to see our sweet baby breathing and know that she is still Alive!!!

9:00 a.m. Darby Kate improved slightly over night but is still hanging out with high lactate and low sats. I will update if anything changes. Thanks for your continued prayers.

2:00 p.m. Dr. Jackson just advised that Darby Kate's lactate has come back down to 2.6. We heard once again that it was a miracle she pulled through the night. She does have an infection but they feel they got a jump start on the antibiotics and got ahead of it. They still say that her little body will have to fight to keep ahead from this point forward. Dr. Jackson said she would rejoice but holding her breath while doing so!! Thank you God for keeping her with us up until this point and we will continue on her journey!!

10:00 p.m. The prayers have paid off yet again. Our God is an awesome God!!! Just got a report from Dr. Jackson. Her lactate is down to 1.9 from 12.1, her oxygen sats are up to 71 from 32, and her blood pressure has come way up! Praise God and thank each and every one of you for the relentless prayers. We still have a long way to go so please keep it up.